Wednesday, 15 April 2015

Top Ten Reason to see a 25th inscription on the Cup

1)No kids of league officials playing this year
2)I will be jamming cell phones in every rink, no Buttman calls
3)Ottawa is lead by a Stoner and a Hamburgler, In the second game between the second and the third, Stone is going to get the munchies and eat the hambrugler. His pot induced paranoia will convince him to do it before DISP does.
4) French people are good looking. Bishop will not be able to resist French little boys.He will not be arrested but moved to another parish in the KHL.
5)Ottawa is a Cinderella team, "Come on Cinderella, blow me fella, we can get it on with a one eyed spitting whale" words of reality written by Jacob Dlyan with one headlight. Cinderella is a fairy tale, not a sugar plum fairy who really existed. There is no GOD but hockey, there is no fan who is a truer believer than one who worships the blanc, rouge bleu. God teases us but if you look at history we should have more faith in him/her or whatever than any other God. Our God delivers in modern times. Its documented and written on the fucking Sterlling Silver Stanley Cup 24 times without dispute. No other religion has words carved into an element with such great provenience.
6) Our team which may have had in recent history the bad TiTs of blue in white disease has been vaccinated with not a trace of autism amongst the player, jury is still out on the coach.(I am so Aspergers, so like a Jew I can make Holocaust jokes, whats German and seats six, the new microwave, whats American(Dig Ref Bitches) and fits the whole planet, the Apocalypse). There is no trace of blue and white disease on our team. Even PFK who grew up in Toronto was vaccinated at an early age by his father, thank you Karl.
7)Lego is the perfect toy, Lars Eller is  Danish. Rangar Lothbrooke was the Steve Jobs of early medieval times, he was Danish.
8)Toker drives TFS to every game, and his car is an Audi. Audi's are known to be airtight, and Toker is the master of the hotbox.
9)Otttaw is called the Senators, maybe the Phuctards should change their name to the Daumers, and the leaf to the bernardos/harpers/general serieal killers?, they choose a name that makes people sick
10)DGMB could have been Elvis Costello or a member of Devo. They call him the mayor of the NHL. So its a battle between the MAN (com cast, Rodgers and other assholes who own hockey teams) and a science guy. Its GMO vs natural selection. Its Kodi vs cable. Its agent orange vs Vietnam. We do not know the final outcome of the first two, but the third is history beyond dispute,.

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