Head shots ring out in the Bell that night
Enter the shaved ape from the other side
He leaves Patches in a pool of blood
FHF cries out "My God he's killed them all"
Here comes the story of the NHL Justice Train
The man the authorities came to name
For something that he never does
They Put the Habs,in a losing spell but one more time they could-a been
The champions of the world.
Three bodies lying there does Collie see
And another man named Buttman winking mysteriously
"I didn't do it" says the ape and then gives a finger to the fans
"I was only lobbing the cranium I hope you understand"
I saw him diving" he says and he stops
"None of you had better call up the cops"
And so LG calls the cops
And they arrive on the scene with their red lights flashing
In the cold Montreal night.
Meanwhile far away in another part of town
Buttman Gary and a couple of friends are driving around
Number one contender for the asshole crown
Had no idea what kinda shit was about to go down
When a Collie pulled him over to the side of the road
Just like the time before and the time before that
In New York boardrooms that's just the way things go
If you're black you might as well not shown up on the score sheet
'Less you wanna draw the heat.
Comcast had a partner and he had a rat for the flops
Him and Collie Snider Coachroach were just out prowling around
Jacobs said "I need only teams winning driving US Plates"
The Habs pumped into a America its just a discrace"
And Mr Molson Viagina just nodded her head
Trainer said "Wait a minute boys this one's not dead"
So they took him to the infirmary
And though this man could hardly see
They told him that was the way a neck should bend.
Four in the morning and they haul Patches in
Take him to the hospital and they bring him upstairs
The wounded man looks up through his one dying eye
Says "Why you looking for justice? Collie ain't the guy !"
Yes here comes the story of the CH name
The team the authorities always blame
For something that they never done
Put in a losing spell but one more time they could-a been
The champions of the world.
Four months later the playoffs are so lame
Patches is in Rehab fighting for his game
While Collie Buttman Coachroach are still in the robbery game
And the Comcast are putting the screws to him looking for somebody to defame
"Remember that head you sent into that bar ?"
"Remember you said you saw him stick his neck out so far?"
"You think you'd like to play in the Stanley Cup?"
"Think it might-a been that fight, we want to see blood every night ?"
"Don't forget we are NASCAR on ice".
Mr Molsons Viagina said "I'm really not sure"
Buttman said "A boy like you could use a break
We got no mericans in Canada to rob and we're talking to your friend the coach bellow
Now you don't wanta have to go back to brewery be a nice fellow
You'll be doing society a favor
FHF sonofabitchs is brave and getting braver
We want to put make sure copyrights a blur
We want to pin this triple infrigement on them
Its more than shwarma, aint that so Gentleman Jim".
Basha could take a man out with just one lunch
But he never did like to talk about it all that much
It's my work he'd say and I do it for pay
And when it's over I'd just as soon go on my way
Up to some paradise
Where the Habs road streams flow and the beer is ice
And tried shaved apes long for bail
But then they took him in to the pole
Where they try to turn a man into a mouse.
All of Patches's cards were marked in advance
The hearing was a pig-circus he never had a chance
The judge made Patches witnesses drunkards from the rums
To the Mercican folks who watched it was a discrectionary dumb
And to the comcast folks he was just a bell ringer
No one doubted that he faked it bigger
And though they could not reduce the stun
Powerplay said he was the one who did the deed
And the all-habs jury agreed.
Zedaro Charo was falsely tried
The crime was murder 'one' guess who testified
Buttman and Rechi and they both baldly lied
And the Toronto newspapers they all went along for the ride
How can the life of such a man
Be in the palm of some fool's hand ?
To see him obviously maimed
Couldn't help but make me feel ashamed to live in a land
Where justice is a game.
While Habs fans have to endure a long losing spell
all the criminals in their coats and their ties
Are free to drink martinis and watch the sun rise
While Patches sits like Buddha his neck bent like he fell
An innocent man in a living hell
That's the story of the our game
But it won't be over till they engrave his name
And give him back the cup he's won
Put him in a deep dark well but one time he could-a been
The champion of the world.
Big Bob tribute on Tuesday